You know, I reaaaaaaaaalllllly have to stop looking at www.rottentomatoes.com
I don't know WHY I ever believe the ratings that go on at that site. I NEVER agree with them. However, I still hold onto some hope that I will be on the same page as these critics one day. Yet, I never am.
Rotten Tomatoes gave this movie 80% fresh, meaning that of 125 critiques, it got an average of 80%.
I should admit that I was a little hesitant that any movie by Woody Allen could receive such a rating...but I figured that since he has been staying out of his own movies recently, they could be improving.
Aside: Does anyone actually LIKE him? I mean, his acting is soooooo brutal. He's such a neurotic, bumbling idiot. Seriously. It takes him 30 seconds longer than anyone else to get a sentence out. I read that this is the "character" that he plays, but I'm not convinced that this isn't HIM in general.
Okay, back to the movie. Here is the premise:
Two girlfriends on a summer holiday in Spain become enamored with the same painter, unaware that his ex-wife, with whom he has a tempestuous relationship, is about to re-enter the picture.
Now, first off, there was a narrator all the way through the movie that just didn't cut it. I couldn't help but feel that Miles from Frasier was narrating. It was the worst voice they could have chosen. It sounded like a cheesy made-for-tv movie.
Secondly, one of the leads, Rebecca Hall, kept losing her American accent. Let's just say that I knew she was a Brit about 15 minutes in.
Thirdly, part of the premise of the movie is that Penelope and Scarlett end up in a love triangle with this dude. A threesome relationship. Now, if you are going to pull a premise like that off, you need to have convincing, sexual characters. Scarlett is void of sexiness. This Javier Bardem guy (the freaky dude with the Prince Charming haircut in No Country for Old Men), didn't pull off the latino Don Juan character either. I actually had a painful look on my face for most of the movie because he was probably the worst kisser I have witnessed since watching Vincent D'Onofrio in Mystic Pizza.
It wasn't convincing.
Patricia Clarkson had a small part, and as always she was lovely.
Penelope Cruz is the only saving grace of this movie. She never fails to give a commanding performance. She plays psycho-woman very, very well.
Don't even watch this on video. Not worth the money.
Woody, Woody, Woody. I heard somewhere that he makes the actors sign on to his movie before they are allowed to see the script. That would make sense to me, considering there are some fine actors in his shitty movies.
This is my favourite critic evaluation on Rotten Tomatoes - lol!
Watching Allen fart out a story when he has no characters is always painful. JR Jones, Chicago Reader
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