The Invention of Lying

2/10

What a steaming, coiled pile of shit.

The premise of this movie is that no one has ever thought of the concept of lying before. Now, why they have to make all of their thoughts verbalized, I'll never understand.

Other than the opening date scene, where Karen and I giggled uncontrollably for about 5 minutes, the movie suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked (sing that).

Here it is...so you don't have to sit through it in the future - found the script online.

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EXT. JENNIFER’S APARTMENT COMPLEX - NIGHT

A completely indistinguishable Los Angeles mid-rent apartment complex.

MARK BELLISON pulls up in his early nineties Volvo, parks and enters.

INT. JENNIFER’S APARTMENT COMPLEX - SAME

Mark (40’s), average to semi-handsome, twists and turns through stucco hallways. He knocks on apartment “9C”.

JENNIFER MCDOOGLES opens, her face flushed. She’s beautiful.

JENNIFER: Hi. You’re early. I was just masturbating.

MARK: That makes me think of your vagina. I’m Mark, how are you?

JENNIFER: A little frustrated at the moment. Also equally depressed and pessimistic about our date tonight. I’m Jennifer.

MARK: I hope this date ends in sex.

JENNIFER: Not me. I don’t find you attractive. Come on in.

Mark enters.

Jennifer’s apartment is new-adult, as if she just found out she was an adult yet hasn’t had the time or the money to complete the transition.

JENNIFER: I need to finish getting ready. While doing that I might realize I’m still horny and try to finish masturbating without you hearing. Jennifer heads towards the bathroom. Mark stands alone in her living room, looking around.

MARK: (shouting to her) I feel awkward and I regret being early.

JENNIFER : (shouting back) Yeah, I’m disappointed you’re early and not really looking forward to tonight in general, but the thought of being alone the rest of my life scares both my mother and I equally.

It’s completely silent for a long beat. Mark looks around, then sits on her couch.

MARK: (shouting to her) I have an erection now because I assume you began masturbating once we stopped talking.

More silence.

MARK: (shouting to her) I’m embarrassed because I think the restaurant I’ve made reservations at might not be expensive enough or hip enough to impress you, but it was the best I could do because I don’t make very much money. You see, I’m forty years old and have no real financial assets to speak of, I’ve never owned a home, and never had a significant relationship. My boss even told me today that I’m most likely going to get fired tomorrow and...

Jennifer enters the room and Mark stops talking.

JENNIFER: I just masturbated.

MARK: That makes me very horny.

JENNIFER: Shall we go?

MARK:Sure.

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Not a lot to tell you about this movie. After this scene, it was deathly boring. It's a good thing we snuck into this movie, because if I paid for it I would be perturbed.