4.5/10
Okay...... I don't know what the hell the fuss is about with this movie.
The story was weak. The main character had no personality and there was no character building in any way, shape or form. It was 2 hours of this:
Torture scene, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire scene, explanation scene.
Torture scene, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire scene, explanation scene.
Torture scene, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire scene, explanation scene.
Fuuuuuuuucking painful.
There were too many 'coincidences'. The love story was ridiculous.
I could go on and on. I thought this movie was shit, plain and simple.
Saving grace - having seen the trials and tribulations of what a "slumdog" experiences on a daily basis in India. This is their life. Mind you, take a trip to any third world country and you'll witness the same horrible conditions.
I have one friend that has shared in my dislike for this movie. Everyone else thought it was amazing.
Oh well, what can you do???
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Confessions of a Shopoholic
1/10
I know, I know. This doesn't seem like something I would choose. That's because it's not. It was my friend Karen's birthday and she chose this flick. I can take one for the team every once in a while.......
Halfway through this movie, I pulled out my notepad and started to write my "to do" list.
Seriously.
I'd look up at the screen, look down and write "dye hair". Look up at the screen, look down and write "vacuum."
Swear.
A truly, truly bad movie. Not even worth renting. Or watching... if it comes on television...which will probably be next week.
Save your precious 90 minutes for something constructive, like...say......napping.
I know, I know. This doesn't seem like something I would choose. That's because it's not. It was my friend Karen's birthday and she chose this flick. I can take one for the team every once in a while.......
Halfway through this movie, I pulled out my notepad and started to write my "to do" list.
Seriously.
I'd look up at the screen, look down and write "dye hair". Look up at the screen, look down and write "vacuum."
Swear.
A truly, truly bad movie. Not even worth renting. Or watching... if it comes on television...which will probably be next week.
Save your precious 90 minutes for something constructive, like...say......napping.
He's Just Not That Into You
4/10
Took the day off work to help a friend with a biopsy conundrum. The event ended early so we decided to take in a light movie. Both she and I are single, and man, it seems like we will remain this forever after watching this piece of shit.
This movie teaches you that unless a man is trying to spend every waking moment with you, and calling you all the time, he's not that into you.
It teaches you that all communication between men and women doesn't actually reflect the words that come out of someone's mouth. For example..."call me" means "don't call me."
By the time the end of this movie rolled around, I was void of all hope, romanticism and desire to enter into any type of relationship. Both my friend and I have had just about enough of the dating scene, due to all of the jerks we have met. This movie was the last nail in the coffin, so to speak.
Whatever happened to saying what you mean and meaning what you say?
For more info on my jaded dating views, please visit this entry.
Took the day off work to help a friend with a biopsy conundrum. The event ended early so we decided to take in a light movie. Both she and I are single, and man, it seems like we will remain this forever after watching this piece of shit.
This movie teaches you that unless a man is trying to spend every waking moment with you, and calling you all the time, he's not that into you.
It teaches you that all communication between men and women doesn't actually reflect the words that come out of someone's mouth. For example..."call me" means "don't call me."
By the time the end of this movie rolled around, I was void of all hope, romanticism and desire to enter into any type of relationship. Both my friend and I have had just about enough of the dating scene, due to all of the jerks we have met. This movie was the last nail in the coffin, so to speak.
Whatever happened to saying what you mean and meaning what you say?
For more info on my jaded dating views, please visit this entry.
Doubt
7/10
Nothing in this story was original.
I mean, we've all seen it before:
Priest is accused of diddling kids that belong to the parish or attend the boarding school.
*snore*
I didn't hate the movie - in fact, parts of it were very good. It just didn't surprise me at any point.
At the end, you are forced to wonder if he actually did it.
Of course he did, please.
My friend Karen and I took out our friend Alison for her birthday and this is the movie she chose. It could have been worse, so I am not complaining.
Nothing in this story was original.
I mean, we've all seen it before:
Priest is accused of diddling kids that belong to the parish or attend the boarding school.
*snore*
I didn't hate the movie - in fact, parts of it were very good. It just didn't surprise me at any point.
At the end, you are forced to wonder if he actually did it.
Of course he did, please.
My friend Karen and I took out our friend Alison for her birthday and this is the movie she chose. It could have been worse, so I am not complaining.
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
5/10
Why?
Why do I ever go against my better judgment and see a movie that never really interested me from the beginning? I must assume that the opinions of those around me HAVE to be decent. Yet, I get into the theatre and halfway through the movies, I start to think...
WHY?
Is it that they really don't know what a good movie is? Is it that they are unable to notice the mediocrity of the movie? Is it that they are so happy to be away from their screaming kids, that they could be watching a blank screen and that would make them happy? Is it that I have seen so many movies, that I am forced to pick them apart?
Take my mother for example. She could watch any cheesy movie you put in front of her and she will like it. She gets angry at me for being so picky with what I like.
Anyhow, back to the movie.
Story - meh.
Performances - meh.
Length - too long
Saving grace - Benjamin narrated most of the movie, and at the end of each life stage, he would complete that stage with a very thought-provoking statement.
For example;
"Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss. "
I was impressed by Kate Blanchett's dancing abilities, although she didn't do the long spins/twirls herself. What a kick-ass body!
One of my favourite parts of this movie, was the character that was hit by lightning 7 times. Yes, it was a bit of comedic relief, but I still wonder what the point of his character was? If you notice, Benjamin never answers this man when he tells him each of the seven stories. He just looks at him, and walks away. Is it that he treats everyone with dignity by allowing them the chance to be heard? Or is it something deeper? Can anyone shed some light here?
An okay movie. I should have saved my money for something Canadian made. I'm never disappointed in Cdn films.
I learned that I should never ignore my gut feeling.
Why?
Why do I ever go against my better judgment and see a movie that never really interested me from the beginning? I must assume that the opinions of those around me HAVE to be decent. Yet, I get into the theatre and halfway through the movies, I start to think...
WHY?
Is it that they really don't know what a good movie is? Is it that they are unable to notice the mediocrity of the movie? Is it that they are so happy to be away from their screaming kids, that they could be watching a blank screen and that would make them happy? Is it that I have seen so many movies, that I am forced to pick them apart?
Take my mother for example. She could watch any cheesy movie you put in front of her and she will like it. She gets angry at me for being so picky with what I like.
Anyhow, back to the movie.
Story - meh.
Performances - meh.
Length - too long
Saving grace - Benjamin narrated most of the movie, and at the end of each life stage, he would complete that stage with a very thought-provoking statement.
For example;
"Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss. "
I was impressed by Kate Blanchett's dancing abilities, although she didn't do the long spins/twirls herself. What a kick-ass body!
One of my favourite parts of this movie, was the character that was hit by lightning 7 times. Yes, it was a bit of comedic relief, but I still wonder what the point of his character was? If you notice, Benjamin never answers this man when he tells him each of the seven stories. He just looks at him, and walks away. Is it that he treats everyone with dignity by allowing them the chance to be heard? Or is it something deeper? Can anyone shed some light here?
An okay movie. I should have saved my money for something Canadian made. I'm never disappointed in Cdn films.
I learned that I should never ignore my gut feeling.
Gran Torino
3/10
I have an idea.
Let's take the world's shittiest actors, put them in a movie with a shitty script, add some shitty humour, and have the main character voice every single inappropriate racial slur without being called on it...because he's "Clint."
Wow, what a bad movie.
I miss the days back in Calgary, when my friend Bob and I would see shitty movies together. They never seemed half as shitty though, with him at my side. We would gorge on popcorn and slushies, and laugh at the exact same times, because we could see the absurdity of the movie. Sometimes the movies were so bad, but ended up being such a good time, because we "got" each other.
There were times in this movie where I BURST out laughing, since it was utter ridiculousness, and yet no one else was laughing. At the end, I couldn't figure out if it was meant to be campy or serious. It HAD to be campy.
Not sure who did the casting for this movie, but I have serious doubts if any of the actors ever worked before this job. The level of overacting was sickening.
And again, the racial slurs that Clint used? Unforgivable. How does he get away with that shit?
He also had a habit of growling through this movie. I have argued with many people about his acting abilities. I think he's downright dreadful. The growling just made me roll my eyes. Get a grip, Clint.
Granted, I was on a date, with a guy that ended up being a fucking liar. Did I say that out loud? He liked the movie. I should have known then and there that we weren't a match.
I have an idea.
Let's take the world's shittiest actors, put them in a movie with a shitty script, add some shitty humour, and have the main character voice every single inappropriate racial slur without being called on it...because he's "Clint."
Wow, what a bad movie.
I miss the days back in Calgary, when my friend Bob and I would see shitty movies together. They never seemed half as shitty though, with him at my side. We would gorge on popcorn and slushies, and laugh at the exact same times, because we could see the absurdity of the movie. Sometimes the movies were so bad, but ended up being such a good time, because we "got" each other.
There were times in this movie where I BURST out laughing, since it was utter ridiculousness, and yet no one else was laughing. At the end, I couldn't figure out if it was meant to be campy or serious. It HAD to be campy.
Not sure who did the casting for this movie, but I have serious doubts if any of the actors ever worked before this job. The level of overacting was sickening.
And again, the racial slurs that Clint used? Unforgivable. How does he get away with that shit?
He also had a habit of growling through this movie. I have argued with many people about his acting abilities. I think he's downright dreadful. The growling just made me roll my eyes. Get a grip, Clint.
Granted, I was on a date, with a guy that ended up being a fucking liar. Did I say that out loud? He liked the movie. I should have known then and there that we weren't a match.
Revolutionary Road
5/10
No idea why this movie was getting such amazing reviews....
Depressing, depressing, depressing.
Yes, the performances were decent...mind you, I thought Kate's was just okay. Leo's was top notch, but the really excellent performance came from Michael Shannon. Although he was considered the one with the mental health problems, he seemed like the one with the most realistic opinions, and had a knack of reading people's minds. He just didn't know when to shut up.
Did I mention that this movie is depressing?
Oh, and by the way.
Depressing.
Didn't see the ending coming. Assumed it would be something just as bad, but not as bad....if that makes any sense. I would have rathered the ending in my head over the one they chose.
No idea why this movie was getting such amazing reviews....
Depressing, depressing, depressing.
Yes, the performances were decent...mind you, I thought Kate's was just okay. Leo's was top notch, but the really excellent performance came from Michael Shannon. Although he was considered the one with the mental health problems, he seemed like the one with the most realistic opinions, and had a knack of reading people's minds. He just didn't know when to shut up.
Did I mention that this movie is depressing?
Oh, and by the way.
Depressing.
Didn't see the ending coming. Assumed it would be something just as bad, but not as bad....if that makes any sense. I would have rathered the ending in my head over the one they chose.
Happy Go Lucky
6.5/10
I have a friend that reminds me of the girl in this movie. They are both so upbeat ALL THE TIME that you want to smash their faces in at times. That is, until you spend enough time with them...and you start to notice that they aren't so one dimensional after all.
It's unfortunate that sometimes really happy, bubbly people are misunderstood as being ditsy.
In this case, the main character, Poppy, is always cracking jokes and making ridiculous small talk, that you refuse to believe she has ANY substance to her. That is until...every so often, WHAM, she hits someone with amazingly deep insight. This insight usually stops them in mid step, and they have no idea what hit them. Those were my favourite moments of this movie.
The movie is light. Most of it is concentrated on Poppy and her PSYCHO driving teacher. He deserves an Oscar for his role in this movie. He plays such an ass. WOW. Excellent performance.
There were a few times when you could see frustration on Poppy's face but for the most part, she teaches you that life shouldn't be so dismal and frustrating.
She could teach us a thousand lessons, yet I doubt any of us would put them to good use.
I have a friend that reminds me of the girl in this movie. They are both so upbeat ALL THE TIME that you want to smash their faces in at times. That is, until you spend enough time with them...and you start to notice that they aren't so one dimensional after all.
It's unfortunate that sometimes really happy, bubbly people are misunderstood as being ditsy.
In this case, the main character, Poppy, is always cracking jokes and making ridiculous small talk, that you refuse to believe she has ANY substance to her. That is until...every so often, WHAM, she hits someone with amazingly deep insight. This insight usually stops them in mid step, and they have no idea what hit them. Those were my favourite moments of this movie.
The movie is light. Most of it is concentrated on Poppy and her PSYCHO driving teacher. He deserves an Oscar for his role in this movie. He plays such an ass. WOW. Excellent performance.
There were a few times when you could see frustration on Poppy's face but for the most part, she teaches you that life shouldn't be so dismal and frustrating.
She could teach us a thousand lessons, yet I doubt any of us would put them to good use.
Rachel Getting Married
8/10
I know there are a lot of Anne Hathaway haters out there, and truthfully I have no idea why.
I think this girl has major talent.
Her performance in this movie was excellent. At one point, she makes a toast at her sister's rehearsal dinner. You want to squirm in your seat. She manages to make the audience feel so awkward and uncomfortable with this toast...which illustrates the breadth of her talent.
This movie was quite good. I love movies where it's hard to tell if there is a script, or whether you are spying on a normal life. For an example of this, see Kids.
If I ever get married, I want a wedding like these two. Every single culture was jammed into this evening - looked like the best party ever. I'd want a wedding like this one, or the one that Toni Collette had in "In Her Shoes".
But seriously, who wants to get married.
I digress.
I had a MAJOR problem with her husband's glasses though. I know there are people out there trying to bring back the MASSIVE glasses trend, but I hope that is kiboshed. STAT.
Seriously - look at them.
How embarrassing! At least wear some fucking contacts for your WEDDING. It's your W-E-D-D-I-N-G day!!!!!
You will be in pictures for the rest of your life with these horrific glasses. Shame, shame, shame.
On another note, who is this Mather Zickel character? I've never seen him before and he's absolutely adorable.
Not a bad movie overall. Performances are good, plot is decent.
Saw this at the Bloor Cinema for the double bill. Remind me not to sit in the single seats on the balcony again. My fat ass barely squeezes into them.
I know there are a lot of Anne Hathaway haters out there, and truthfully I have no idea why.
I think this girl has major talent.
Her performance in this movie was excellent. At one point, she makes a toast at her sister's rehearsal dinner. You want to squirm in your seat. She manages to make the audience feel so awkward and uncomfortable with this toast...which illustrates the breadth of her talent.
This movie was quite good. I love movies where it's hard to tell if there is a script, or whether you are spying on a normal life. For an example of this, see Kids.
If I ever get married, I want a wedding like these two. Every single culture was jammed into this evening - looked like the best party ever. I'd want a wedding like this one, or the one that Toni Collette had in "In Her Shoes".
But seriously, who wants to get married.
I digress.
I had a MAJOR problem with her husband's glasses though. I know there are people out there trying to bring back the MASSIVE glasses trend, but I hope that is kiboshed. STAT.
Seriously - look at them.How embarrassing! At least wear some fucking contacts for your WEDDING. It's your W-E-D-D-I-N-G day!!!!!
You will be in pictures for the rest of your life with these horrific glasses. Shame, shame, shame.
On another note, who is this Mather Zickel character? I've never seen him before and he's absolutely adorable.
Not a bad movie overall. Performances are good, plot is decent.
Saw this at the Bloor Cinema for the double bill. Remind me not to sit in the single seats on the balcony again. My fat ass barely squeezes into them.
I've Loved You So Long
7/10
Saw this movie at the double bill at the Bloor Cinema. If you've never been there, check it out. Movies are cheap, and the theatre has more character than any other theatre in Toronto. Support the little guys! You know, the ones that actually appreciate the movies that they play.
I kept mixing up this movie and the one below this (Tell No One). Although they are nothing alike, it's probably because Kristin Scott Thomas is in both of them. I actually never realized she spoke french or acted in french-speaking movies....but seriously...why should I? Are we best friends?
That aside, this was a decent movie as well. The plot was different than anything I have seen, and you want to hate the character for having done what she's done...but one part of you wants to understand who she is and why she did it.
Thomas does an amazing job playing the aloof, indifferent sister who just got out of jail. The relationship between her and her sister was completely believable. It goes to show you that family love (the common theme in both Thomas movies) is impermeable.
A very interesting ending as well.
Decent movie.
Saw this movie at the double bill at the Bloor Cinema. If you've never been there, check it out. Movies are cheap, and the theatre has more character than any other theatre in Toronto. Support the little guys! You know, the ones that actually appreciate the movies that they play.
I kept mixing up this movie and the one below this (Tell No One). Although they are nothing alike, it's probably because Kristin Scott Thomas is in both of them. I actually never realized she spoke french or acted in french-speaking movies....but seriously...why should I? Are we best friends?
That aside, this was a decent movie as well. The plot was different than anything I have seen, and you want to hate the character for having done what she's done...but one part of you wants to understand who she is and why she did it.
Thomas does an amazing job playing the aloof, indifferent sister who just got out of jail. The relationship between her and her sister was completely believable. It goes to show you that family love (the common theme in both Thomas movies) is impermeable.
A very interesting ending as well.
Decent movie.
Tell No One
9/10
Finally a suspenseful, interesting, wonderfully acted movie!
It takes a great movie to keep my interest throughout...especially if it was designed to be a mystery/suspense. I find that most movies like this start out strong and end off weak.
As well, sometimes a lot is lost in the translation..but in this case the acting was so amazing, and the emotions so powerful that you start to forget that you are watching a movie in another language.
A great tale of true romantic love, and the power of family loyalty.
WELL WELL WELL worth renting.
Finally a suspenseful, interesting, wonderfully acted movie!
It takes a great movie to keep my interest throughout...especially if it was designed to be a mystery/suspense. I find that most movies like this start out strong and end off weak.
As well, sometimes a lot is lost in the translation..but in this case the acting was so amazing, and the emotions so powerful that you start to forget that you are watching a movie in another language.
A great tale of true romantic love, and the power of family loyalty.
WELL WELL WELL worth renting.
Four Christmases
5/10
Typical crappy movie chock-full of big names and an unimaginative storyline.
What pissed me off the most about this movie is how it takes a whole lifetime to formulate the reasons you shouldn't have children or get married, and yet it only takes 2 hours to kibosh that decision, in order to keep the person you MAY lose if you don't give in.
Cheesy cheesy cheesy.
Typical crappy movie chock-full of big names and an unimaginative storyline.
What pissed me off the most about this movie is how it takes a whole lifetime to formulate the reasons you shouldn't have children or get married, and yet it only takes 2 hours to kibosh that decision, in order to keep the person you MAY lose if you don't give in.
Cheesy cheesy cheesy.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Flash of Genius - Spoiler (but seriously, who cares?)
5.5/10
This movie was all about some dude who invented a windshield wiper in the 60s that Ford Motor Company ripped off and managed to take all credit and financial gain from.
This 'dude' was played by Greg Kinnear, with dark contacts. It always creeps me out when actors with light eyes wear dark contacts (Joaquin Phoenix in "Walk the Line").
Anyhow, the need to win this case completely CONSUMES this man, to the point of a nervous breakdown.
Okay, let me just tell ya that I just finished reading "A New Earth" and it explains how your ego takes over almost everything you do. Some people are driven by their ego and some learn how to squash it when important times arise. This guy was totally and completely selfish. He alienated his entire family (wife and SIX children) during this 10 year battle.
I found myself rooting for FORD, just to teach him a lesson.
Ford came to him several times with offers to shut him up. 1 million, 10 million, and finally 30 friggin' million. We are talking in the late sixties or early 70s....converted to the present day and age, that would be about 75 million (maybe not that much but you can catch my drift).
This loser didn't take it, all because he wanted the "truth" to come out. Let's be serious now. The "truth" is really recognition of his invention. Ego, ego, ego. His kids considered him an absent father and his wife divorced him because he was an absent partner.
Oh, and he ends up representing himself in court. Wow, that was a complete surprise. NOT.
Yes, he received the recognition at the end, but what was he left with?
20+ million dollars to roll around naked on his big bed...with....no one.
Just him, and his big ego.
Save this one for....well....nothing. If you are home with nothing to do, do yourself a a favour and fall asleep early. Or, flip around the channels. I'm sure there is some bad reality TV to watch instead.
This movie was all about some dude who invented a windshield wiper in the 60s that Ford Motor Company ripped off and managed to take all credit and financial gain from.
This 'dude' was played by Greg Kinnear, with dark contacts. It always creeps me out when actors with light eyes wear dark contacts (Joaquin Phoenix in "Walk the Line").
Anyhow, the need to win this case completely CONSUMES this man, to the point of a nervous breakdown.
Okay, let me just tell ya that I just finished reading "A New Earth" and it explains how your ego takes over almost everything you do. Some people are driven by their ego and some learn how to squash it when important times arise. This guy was totally and completely selfish. He alienated his entire family (wife and SIX children) during this 10 year battle.
I found myself rooting for FORD, just to teach him a lesson.
Ford came to him several times with offers to shut him up. 1 million, 10 million, and finally 30 friggin' million. We are talking in the late sixties or early 70s....converted to the present day and age, that would be about 75 million (maybe not that much but you can catch my drift).
This loser didn't take it, all because he wanted the "truth" to come out. Let's be serious now. The "truth" is really recognition of his invention. Ego, ego, ego. His kids considered him an absent father and his wife divorced him because he was an absent partner.
Oh, and he ends up representing himself in court. Wow, that was a complete surprise. NOT.
Yes, he received the recognition at the end, but what was he left with?
20+ million dollars to roll around naked on his big bed...with....no one.
Just him, and his big ego.
Save this one for....well....nothing. If you are home with nothing to do, do yourself a a favour and fall asleep early. Or, flip around the channels. I'm sure there is some bad reality TV to watch instead.
Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
7/10
Very cute movie. I didn't expect anything tooooo wonderful, but it was a sweet one.
What I liked about this movie, is that the two main characters weren't drinkers, smokers, or teenage shitheads in any way. Sort of like in Superbad, where the girl is angry at the guy for having to get drunk to make a move on her. These movies are teaching kids nowadays that they can be cool by just being themselves.
Mind you, there was a specific part that I found unnecessary... the music studio scene where something happens that you don't really need to witness in a teen movie. I'll just keep it at that. Some nice kissing would have done the job, thanks.
Favourite part - the karate chop to the neck. Hilarious.
Very cute movie. I didn't expect anything tooooo wonderful, but it was a sweet one.
What I liked about this movie, is that the two main characters weren't drinkers, smokers, or teenage shitheads in any way. Sort of like in Superbad, where the girl is angry at the guy for having to get drunk to make a move on her. These movies are teaching kids nowadays that they can be cool by just being themselves.
Mind you, there was a specific part that I found unnecessary... the music studio scene where something happens that you don't really need to witness in a teen movie. I'll just keep it at that. Some nice kissing would have done the job, thanks.
Favourite part - the karate chop to the neck. Hilarious.
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Vicky Cristina Barcelona
5.75/10
You know, I reaaaaaaaaalllllly have to stop looking at www.rottentomatoes.com
I don't know WHY I ever believe the ratings that go on at that site. I NEVER agree with them. However, I still hold onto some hope that I will be on the same page as these critics one day. Yet, I never am.
Rotten Tomatoes gave this movie 80% fresh, meaning that of 125 critiques, it got an average of 80%.
I should admit that I was a little hesitant that any movie by Woody Allen could receive such a rating...but I figured that since he has been staying out of his own movies recently, they could be improving.
Aside: Does anyone actually LIKE him? I mean, his acting is soooooo brutal. He's such a neurotic, bumbling idiot. Seriously. It takes him 30 seconds longer than anyone else to get a sentence out. I read that this is the "character" that he plays, but I'm not convinced that this isn't HIM in general.
Okay, back to the movie. Here is the premise:
Two girlfriends on a summer holiday in Spain become enamored with the same painter, unaware that his ex-wife, with whom he has a tempestuous relationship, is about to re-enter the picture.
Now, first off, there was a narrator all the way through the movie that just didn't cut it. I couldn't help but feel that Miles from Frasier was narrating. It was the worst voice they could have chosen. It sounded like a cheesy made-for-tv movie.
Secondly, one of the leads, Rebecca Hall, kept losing her American accent. Let's just say that I knew she was a Brit about 15 minutes in.
Thirdly, part of the premise of the movie is that Penelope and Scarlett end up in a love triangle with this dude. A threesome relationship. Now, if you are going to pull a premise like that off, you need to have convincing, sexual characters. Scarlett is void of sexiness. This Javier Bardem guy (the freaky dude with the Prince Charming haircut in No Country for Old Men), didn't pull off the latino Don Juan character either. I actually had a painful look on my face for most of the movie because he was probably the worst kisser I have witnessed since watching Vincent D'Onofrio in Mystic Pizza.
It wasn't convincing.
Patricia Clarkson had a small part, and as always she was lovely.
Penelope Cruz is the only saving grace of this movie. She never fails to give a commanding performance. She plays psycho-woman very, very well.
Don't even watch this on video. Not worth the money.
Woody, Woody, Woody. I heard somewhere that he makes the actors sign on to his movie before they are allowed to see the script. That would make sense to me, considering there are some fine actors in his shitty movies.
This is my favourite critic evaluation on Rotten Tomatoes - lol!
Watching Allen fart out a story when he has no characters is always painful. JR Jones, Chicago Reader
You know, I reaaaaaaaaalllllly have to stop looking at www.rottentomatoes.com
I don't know WHY I ever believe the ratings that go on at that site. I NEVER agree with them. However, I still hold onto some hope that I will be on the same page as these critics one day. Yet, I never am.
Rotten Tomatoes gave this movie 80% fresh, meaning that of 125 critiques, it got an average of 80%.
I should admit that I was a little hesitant that any movie by Woody Allen could receive such a rating...but I figured that since he has been staying out of his own movies recently, they could be improving.
Aside: Does anyone actually LIKE him? I mean, his acting is soooooo brutal. He's such a neurotic, bumbling idiot. Seriously. It takes him 30 seconds longer than anyone else to get a sentence out. I read that this is the "character" that he plays, but I'm not convinced that this isn't HIM in general.
Okay, back to the movie. Here is the premise:
Two girlfriends on a summer holiday in Spain become enamored with the same painter, unaware that his ex-wife, with whom he has a tempestuous relationship, is about to re-enter the picture.
Now, first off, there was a narrator all the way through the movie that just didn't cut it. I couldn't help but feel that Miles from Frasier was narrating. It was the worst voice they could have chosen. It sounded like a cheesy made-for-tv movie.
Secondly, one of the leads, Rebecca Hall, kept losing her American accent. Let's just say that I knew she was a Brit about 15 minutes in.
Thirdly, part of the premise of the movie is that Penelope and Scarlett end up in a love triangle with this dude. A threesome relationship. Now, if you are going to pull a premise like that off, you need to have convincing, sexual characters. Scarlett is void of sexiness. This Javier Bardem guy (the freaky dude with the Prince Charming haircut in No Country for Old Men), didn't pull off the latino Don Juan character either. I actually had a painful look on my face for most of the movie because he was probably the worst kisser I have witnessed since watching Vincent D'Onofrio in Mystic Pizza.
It wasn't convincing.
Patricia Clarkson had a small part, and as always she was lovely.
Penelope Cruz is the only saving grace of this movie. She never fails to give a commanding performance. She plays psycho-woman very, very well.
Don't even watch this on video. Not worth the money.
Woody, Woody, Woody. I heard somewhere that he makes the actors sign on to his movie before they are allowed to see the script. That would make sense to me, considering there are some fine actors in his shitty movies.
This is my favourite critic evaluation on Rotten Tomatoes - lol!
Watching Allen fart out a story when he has no characters is always painful. JR Jones, Chicago Reader
Monday, September 15, 2008
Burn After Reading - Spoiler Alert!
8/10
This movie was freaking hilarious, in a total effed up sort of way. "The plot is a smart excuse for a movie about nothing but appearing to be about a lot of things".*
John Malkovich did a phenomenal job- he always seemed to have one line that he repeated "What the eff?!" Man, he made me laugh.
Frances McDormand is a favourite of mine and as usual, she did a great job. Brad Pitt usually does nothing for me, but he was awesome in this flick.George Clooney is dead to me. He has such average talent and he didn't seem to surpass my expectations. I still don't understand why he is considered a heart throb. Blows my mind.
It's an intertwining story between approximately 6 characters that doesn't really come together at the end - but that was the beauty of the film.
The actor who played the CIA superior was PERFECT. I don't think they could have found a better guy to play this role. He's in so many movies, and you see him everywhere; yet you'd never know his name. J.K Simmons. Watch for this guy.
Anyhow, I really liked this flick. I'd recommend it.
Just be prepared to be thinking......what the EFF? During the whole movie.
* ripped off from Katie Meyers on the imdb.com website
This movie was freaking hilarious, in a total effed up sort of way. "The plot is a smart excuse for a movie about nothing but appearing to be about a lot of things".*
John Malkovich did a phenomenal job- he always seemed to have one line that he repeated "What the eff?!" Man, he made me laugh.
Frances McDormand is a favourite of mine and as usual, she did a great job. Brad Pitt usually does nothing for me, but he was awesome in this flick.George Clooney is dead to me. He has such average talent and he didn't seem to surpass my expectations. I still don't understand why he is considered a heart throb. Blows my mind.
It's an intertwining story between approximately 6 characters that doesn't really come together at the end - but that was the beauty of the film.
The actor who played the CIA superior was PERFECT. I don't think they could have found a better guy to play this role. He's in so many movies, and you see him everywhere; yet you'd never know his name. J.K Simmons. Watch for this guy.
Anyhow, I really liked this flick. I'd recommend it.
Just be prepared to be thinking......what the EFF? During the whole movie.
* ripped off from Katie Meyers on the imdb.com website
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Mamma Mia
9/10
I love Meryl Streep. I think she is one of the most talented actresses and performers EVER.
This movie made me stare wide-eyed at the screen the whole time, wishing the scenes didn't end, yet waiting excitedly for the next one to begin.
This movie is SO MUCH FUN.
The scenery is GORGEOUS. The singing is fun. The actors seem to be having such a great time. You escape from your uneventful life for two hours and just transition into this wonderland of amazingness.
I saw this movie with my friend Karen and I was concerned that she was going to collapse from dehydration at the end. The waterworks were turned on full blast the whole time. This movie just made her feel so great that she was borderline sobbing all the way through. Convulsing.
She's awesome.
This movie was awesome.
My favourite part was when Meryl sings "The Winner Takes It All" at the top of the cliff. This is a hard song to sing, and she gave me shivers down my spine.
SEE
THIS
MOVIE
PERIOD
I love Meryl Streep. I think she is one of the most talented actresses and performers EVER.
This movie made me stare wide-eyed at the screen the whole time, wishing the scenes didn't end, yet waiting excitedly for the next one to begin.
This movie is SO MUCH FUN.
The scenery is GORGEOUS. The singing is fun. The actors seem to be having such a great time. You escape from your uneventful life for two hours and just transition into this wonderland of amazingness.
I saw this movie with my friend Karen and I was concerned that she was going to collapse from dehydration at the end. The waterworks were turned on full blast the whole time. This movie just made her feel so great that she was borderline sobbing all the way through. Convulsing.
She's awesome.
This movie was awesome.
My favourite part was when Meryl sings "The Winner Takes It All" at the top of the cliff. This is a hard song to sing, and she gave me shivers down my spine.
SEE
THIS
MOVIE
PERIOD
Get Smart
6/10
Snuck into this movie after Wall-E. Seems to be a pattern in my reviews, huh?
The first half of the movie was pretty funny. The second part, not so much. Like every comedy, it's hard to keep the laughs fresh throughout the length of the flick.
Gotta love Steve Carell though.
He's such a card.
Snuck into this movie after Wall-E. Seems to be a pattern in my reviews, huh?
The first half of the movie was pretty funny. The second part, not so much. Like every comedy, it's hard to keep the laughs fresh throughout the length of the flick.
Gotta love Steve Carell though.
He's such a card.
Wall-E
8/10
I love Wall-E. He has such an adorable personality. Such a loving heart. Such a genuine spirit. Such a great work ethic. He teaches us the meaning of persistence.
Not sure why this was considered a kid-type of movie though. There was no talking at all during the first 45 minutes of the movie.
I don't want to give away the story, but half of it took place in space and half on earth. This is probably the closest I will come to liking a movie that is sci-fi in any way, shape or form.
The message in the story was very clever as well. Neat story, amazing imagination, and great overall.
I really enjoyed this movie.
I LOVE WALL-E!!
I love Wall-E. He has such an adorable personality. Such a loving heart. Such a genuine spirit. Such a great work ethic. He teaches us the meaning of persistence.
Not sure why this was considered a kid-type of movie though. There was no talking at all during the first 45 minutes of the movie.
I don't want to give away the story, but half of it took place in space and half on earth. This is probably the closest I will come to liking a movie that is sci-fi in any way, shape or form.
The message in the story was very clever as well. Neat story, amazing imagination, and great overall.
I really enjoyed this movie.
I LOVE WALL-E!!
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
The Edge of Heaven
6.5/10
This was an "okay" movie. I thought it was going to be fabulous, but it was just "meh".
I have to tell you about the experience though. I had free passes to an Alliance-Atlantis theatre. I brought my friend Karen. When we got into the theatre, it was totally empty. We chose a seat closer to the back of the theatre, in the middle. I don't like to sit in the centre of the theatre because people ALWAYS choose that area and I dislike sitting close to strangers if there is no reason to.
We chose our seats and I left to go to the bathroom. When I came back, there were 2 women sitting in the row EXACTLY behind us.
Picture this: 2000 empty seats. Karen and I in two of them. These two ladies RIGHT BEHIND US. The look on Karen's face when I returned was classic. It said "I want to punch them in the head."
So we got up, and moved 4 rows ahead of these women, which left 5 rows in between us.
AGAIN, no one else was in the theatre.
As we are chit-chatting, these women got up, and moved to the row behind us. I thought Karen was going to explode.
Okay, so let's dissect this. These women were not trying to piss us off - I'm pretty sure they were totally vacant up top. They were just ridiculously annoying. Middle aged, with English not being their mother tongue. I said to Karen: "if they talk through the movie I am going to go postal."
What did they do?
TALKED THROUGH THE FUCKING MOVIE.
I finally turned around after about 15 minutes and stared one of the women in the face with the hairiest eyeball that I could muster up. The talking eventually ceased. EVENTUALLY. They were clueless. CLUELESS.
When I go to movies on my own, I tend to choose the seats on the sides of the theatre. No one tends to sit there (which is wonderful). I don't hear incessant whispering and I don't get my seat kicked from behind. When I tend to go to movies with friends, I succomb to sitting in the middle to satisfy everyone. It never fails. I'm always annoyed in one way or another.
Somehow this post turned into a bitch/moan session. Back to the movie.
It was subtitled. The acting was decent. Storyline was nothing special.
I think my favourite part was when the credits were rolling. One of the characters was sitting on the beach with his back to the camera. The credits were rolling on the right hand side and he was just sitting there, looking out at the water. The whole scene was about 10 minutes. He didn't move, but you knew it wasn't being looped because tumbleweeds and other things were being blown around the beach. It was very different and therefore very neat.
So there you are. Unless you are a major movie buff, you probably don't need to see this movie. It got amazing reviews though.... so apparently I'm missing something.
This was an "okay" movie. I thought it was going to be fabulous, but it was just "meh".
I have to tell you about the experience though. I had free passes to an Alliance-Atlantis theatre. I brought my friend Karen. When we got into the theatre, it was totally empty. We chose a seat closer to the back of the theatre, in the middle. I don't like to sit in the centre of the theatre because people ALWAYS choose that area and I dislike sitting close to strangers if there is no reason to.
We chose our seats and I left to go to the bathroom. When I came back, there were 2 women sitting in the row EXACTLY behind us.
Picture this: 2000 empty seats. Karen and I in two of them. These two ladies RIGHT BEHIND US. The look on Karen's face when I returned was classic. It said "I want to punch them in the head."
So we got up, and moved 4 rows ahead of these women, which left 5 rows in between us.
AGAIN, no one else was in the theatre.
As we are chit-chatting, these women got up, and moved to the row behind us. I thought Karen was going to explode.
Okay, so let's dissect this. These women were not trying to piss us off - I'm pretty sure they were totally vacant up top. They were just ridiculously annoying. Middle aged, with English not being their mother tongue. I said to Karen: "if they talk through the movie I am going to go postal."
What did they do?
TALKED THROUGH THE FUCKING MOVIE.
I finally turned around after about 15 minutes and stared one of the women in the face with the hairiest eyeball that I could muster up. The talking eventually ceased. EVENTUALLY. They were clueless. CLUELESS.
When I go to movies on my own, I tend to choose the seats on the sides of the theatre. No one tends to sit there (which is wonderful). I don't hear incessant whispering and I don't get my seat kicked from behind. When I tend to go to movies with friends, I succomb to sitting in the middle to satisfy everyone. It never fails. I'm always annoyed in one way or another.
Somehow this post turned into a bitch/moan session. Back to the movie.
It was subtitled. The acting was decent. Storyline was nothing special.
I think my favourite part was when the credits were rolling. One of the characters was sitting on the beach with his back to the camera. The credits were rolling on the right hand side and he was just sitting there, looking out at the water. The whole scene was about 10 minutes. He didn't move, but you knew it wasn't being looped because tumbleweeds and other things were being blown around the beach. It was very different and therefore very neat.
So there you are. Unless you are a major movie buff, you probably don't need to see this movie. It got amazing reviews though.... so apparently I'm missing something.
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