The Other Guys

4/10

You know how I know a movie is bad? Less than 4 months goes by and I can't remember the premise of the friggin' thing.

That is me now. What the hell was this about anyhow? Standby while I IMDB it....

Oh yes, Marky Mark and Will Ferrell. Eesshhh. I still got nothin. I remember they were in a bad cop movie and that's it.

Not worth your time.

Are movies getting more terrible or is it just me? Gawsh.

The Last Exorcism

2/10

Saw this in the drive-in with Ally Cat.

I'm not a fan of exorcism movies, although I always tend to end up watching them.

This was too contrived and all over the place. The end was totally ghey too.

Nothing more to say.

Dinner For Schmucks

3/10

Wow.

What a steaming pile of poo.

Saw this with Ally Cat, and I hate to single her out, but she chose it. I took one for the team. Had no interest.

She ended up hating it too.

As much as I like Paul Rudd in all his cutie-patootieness, I couldn't do it.

Oh, and somehow I found myself loving Steve Carrell's hobby of stuffing mice and putting them into different landscapes. It was made out to be a silly hobby in the film, but I actually found it the most impressive part of this steaming pile of shit.

Oh and the worst part is that I was getting into the car with my obscenely large bag of popcorn and it knocked against the steering wheel. I was picking popcorn out of my car for days.

HIATUS

I've taken a little hiatus from movies...not because I have been busy....but because there hasn't been a single movie I have wanted to see.

Summers are so boring in that respect. They release all of the good movies during fall and winter.

I'll be back, I promise.

~Merdypops

Hot Tub Time Machine

4/10

Some people thought this was hilarious, but it didn't do much for me. The humour was too forced and cliche.

Mind you, it was an amalgamation of about 150 movies from the 80s, so it's hard to be seamlessly funny.

A few funny parts - a. catheter b. all the possible ways for his arm to have been chopped off.

Those scenes were funny. The rest, well, just wasn't. In my opinion of course. I know some people that loooooved this movie.

If we all liked the same stuff, life would be boring, non?

Date Night

9/10

Ok, seriously. I haven't laughed this long and hard in a movie in about....oh I don't know.....ever.

It was nice to discover that Tina Fey and Steve Carrell have the best on-screen chemistry. Man, they were good together.

During one scene (car chase), both Karen and I were laughing so hard that our stomachs were seizing. That is the best feeling. You can't stop laughing... it hurts so much..... but you are loving every second of it. I've never seen this cabbie dude before (J.B Smoove) but man...funny, funny, funny.

One of my favourite scenes, albeit a serious one....is when Tina Fey goes off on the cliche "rant" about how much she does in comparison to her husband around the house, and with the kids.
He then puts her in her place - stating that she needs to relinquish control and trust him to do it as well. It won't be the same way that SHE does it, but he can get it done too.

A-frickin-men.

Half of the women I know complain that they do EVERYTHING yet they don't allow their spouses to do it because they do it 'wrong'. Well then shut up already. If you are that much of a control freak, then stop complaining. You've done it to yourself.

End of rant.

Back to the movie.

Mark Wahlberg looks smoooookin' hot! What a body. Phew. I need a moment.

Okay, better.

I don't want to give any more of it away. See this movie. It's so worth it.

F
U
N
N
Y

Telus Tuesdays rock. Movie, popcorn, pail'o'pop for 10 bucks?

Wicked.

The Bounty Hunter

3/10

ONE DRIVE-IN HAS OPENED!!!!!

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

Wait, there was a movie playing? Seriously? I was too distracted by my popcorn, by my slushy, my cotton candy, my blanket that I was toasty under....

So fun. I love the drive-in.

Oh yes, the movie. It's so secondary, you know. They don't play GOOD movies at the drive-in. You go for the experience. To chat behind closed car doors. To eat with your mouth open. To burp. Fart.. whatever.

But, if I am forced to talk about the movie, then it was shit. That's all you need to know. I think it has probably lasted in the theatres for 2 weeks? Jennifer Aniston needs to get lost at sea, in my opinion. She's so. Boring.

Sorta like Winona Ryder. Always the same boring character. One dimensional. I also think she's gotta be psycho in real life. She can't seem to date anyone for more than 2 weeks before they run screaming.

Strange.

I LOVE THE DRIVE-IN!

My Name is Khan

5/10

East Indians should stick to Bollywood movies, and steer clear of the serious ones. I hated Slumdog Millionairre. Man, was that boring AND repetitive.

This was the same. It vacillated between being serious and campy. There were so many parts where Karen and I looked at each other and rolled our eyes.

At the end, I voiced that it reminded me of an East Indian version of Forrest Gump.

I mean, there is no way a chick like that would marry a guy like this. He was almost like her child. Unconvincing. Bitch, please.

Ugh, the whole thing was a mess. I could go on and on and dissect this in each spot, but I will just say that it wasn't good. At all.

I'm giving it a 5 due to the performance of the main character. He did a good job. That's about it.

She's Out of My League

6/10

I saw this movie two days after Laurelle passed away, so I was looking for something light and something that would make me laugh.

This did both.

I was introduced to a hottie named Kyle Bornheimer.......although he played trailer trash in this, I could see past the gruff exterior...very cute. Reminds me a bit of Craig Sheffer back in the day. Rowr.

Anyhow, again, this movie did the job. An hour and a half of light fun.

Crazy Heart

9/10

Excellent, excellent movie.

Before I go on, I must admit that I found it very, very difficult to get past Jeff Bridges' eyebrows. Please allow me to direct you to an old blog entry.

I'm just saying that it only takes a few seconds to take scissors to the brows. That's all. I thought maybe it was done on purpose for the role, but he showed up at the Oscar's ungroomed too. Pity.

Back to the movie.

WOW. Can Jeff really sing! And play a mean guitar! I had no idea.

The story was wonderful. The acting was great and the location(s) were beautiful. Maggie did a great job - and the biggest shocker of all - was Colin Farrell as the younger, more successful musician. Again, I had no idea he could play the guitar and sing so well too.

Once again, it didn't end in a feel good way. I loved the realness and the rawness of this movie.

No one is perfect - we're all just trying to find our way in the world. Stumbling through each day.

There is one thing that they could have done to improve the credibility of Jeff's character. I would have had more empathy for him if he hadn't been married 3 or 4 times before meeting Maggie. It had me wondering if it was actually true love, or whether this was just the trend that he usually follows when he meets someone that he considers "special". Hell, maybe that was part of the movie? It was trying to confuse the viewer, who knows.

WELL worth watching. He deserved the Oscar for this one!

The Blind Side

8/10

First of all, did you know that AMC Theatres has $6 movies on weekends before noon? Take advantage people! That's $3 per movie if you sneak into two (shame on me).

You know, I resisted this movie for a long time. I am so footballed out. Hollywood loves to create these football stories that are so horrendously patriotic and boring. Likely because I have never really understood the sport, or figured out America's fascination with it.

So, I resisted.

Until, of course.....the movie started at the exact time the first one ended (Crazy Heart).

So we sneaked* in and it turned out to be a pretty good movie! Sandra's performance was top notch.

One catty point - Tim McGraw needs to give up on the hair plugs. Seriously.

Here's the thing, boys. If you're starting to lose your hair, IT'S OKAY.
Shave your head. It's COOL.
Getting hair plugs? That's cheesy, and sad.
Seriously. Deal with the hair loss - women don't care. We like confidence more.

Anyhow, back to the review. Well worth the watch. Try to get past the annoying little brother though. He's a little too much.


* I believe it's sneaked and not snuck. Almost 80% sure.

It's Complicated

7/10

You know, Meryl Streep could just stand there and look into the camera for 2 hours, and I would pay to watch her. She's brilliant.

This movie was cute. I was in the mood for cute, and I got cute. No more, no less.

Alec Baldwin was charming, as usual.

If you want to turn your brain off and enjoy a feel good story, check this out.

Up In the Air

10/10

This is exactly the type of movie that I love, love, love.

A lot of people that I have discussed this film with, hated it. They can't understand why it was up for so many awards. I guess it just bored people.

Meanwhile, I wanted it to go on forever. The characters were fantastic, the chemistry was great, and the acting was superb.

I liked that it wasn't a feel good ending either. I can't stand those.

Yay Jason Reitman! First "Thank You for Smoking" and now this amazing piece of work. I will be awaiting all of his upcoming projects with excitement!

Everybody's Fine

9/10

This movie reminded me A LOT of one of my all-time favourite movies, About Schmidt.

It's about a recently widowed man, who has 4 kids that live in different parts of the United States. They all plan to come home to visit for one weekend and then they all bail within a few hours. He decides to go on a giant road trip to surprise each of them in their respective cities.

It's not the holiday-esque type of feel-good movie though. I think this is why I liked it. It was completely real.

I won't give the rest of the plot away, but holy moly. Get ready to be moved. A thousand times.

I really, really enjoyed this movie. And DeNiro. Friggin' Deniro. He's a genius. I can watch him do something so simple like eat his spaghetti..... and be completely engrossed with him.

Beautiful flick.

An Education

8.5/10

I was impressed with this movie.

It was odd to me to see a man that could woo both this child and her parents in the way he did. The parents were so concerned with her meeting a nice guy that they didn't find it predatory in any way. Even with the 15+ year age difference.

Peter Sarsgaard was great in his role. Very suave and charming. Carey Mulligan was a brand new face for me. She was FANTASTIC. I was convinced that this high school student could be so wise beyond her years in specific ways, because she was so naive in others.

Each role was delivered perfectly. The teacher = excellent. The girlfriend of his friend = dopey and wonderful.

A must-see for 2009.

*spoiler*

As you all know, I am jaded when it comes to men. During this movie, I was thinking...."Wow, men used to actually be like that? He's wooing her and is putting forth so much effort. Wow."

And then we find out he's married.

Pig.

Nothing's changed over the years :)

Zombieland

8/10

I love a good zombie flick. I know this doesn't really fall into my usual dislike of anything that isn't considered "real", but man, they are so entertaining!

Woody Harrelson is always good in whatever he chooses. Jesse Eisenberg is semi-annoying, as he is always the same character in every movie, but the two of them did really well together.

Zombie movies are great because they are always humorous, even if they don't intend to be.

I was worried in the first ten minutes, because it was especially gory, but once you got through that, it was great.

The scene with Bill Murray was especially noteworthy. I will leave it at that. The movie is worthwhile just for this one scene!

I was entertained from beginning to end, so I give this a higher mark than normal. Fun!

The Invention of Lying

2/10

What a steaming, coiled pile of shit.

The premise of this movie is that no one has ever thought of the concept of lying before. Now, why they have to make all of their thoughts verbalized, I'll never understand.

Other than the opening date scene, where Karen and I giggled uncontrollably for about 5 minutes, the movie suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked (sing that).

Here it is...so you don't have to sit through it in the future - found the script online.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EXT. JENNIFER’S APARTMENT COMPLEX - NIGHT

A completely indistinguishable Los Angeles mid-rent apartment complex.

MARK BELLISON pulls up in his early nineties Volvo, parks and enters.

INT. JENNIFER’S APARTMENT COMPLEX - SAME

Mark (40’s), average to semi-handsome, twists and turns through stucco hallways. He knocks on apartment “9C”.

JENNIFER MCDOOGLES opens, her face flushed. She’s beautiful.

JENNIFER: Hi. You’re early. I was just masturbating.

MARK: That makes me think of your vagina. I’m Mark, how are you?

JENNIFER: A little frustrated at the moment. Also equally depressed and pessimistic about our date tonight. I’m Jennifer.

MARK: I hope this date ends in sex.

JENNIFER: Not me. I don’t find you attractive. Come on in.

Mark enters.

Jennifer’s apartment is new-adult, as if she just found out she was an adult yet hasn’t had the time or the money to complete the transition.

JENNIFER: I need to finish getting ready. While doing that I might realize I’m still horny and try to finish masturbating without you hearing. Jennifer heads towards the bathroom. Mark stands alone in her living room, looking around.

MARK: (shouting to her) I feel awkward and I regret being early.

JENNIFER : (shouting back) Yeah, I’m disappointed you’re early and not really looking forward to tonight in general, but the thought of being alone the rest of my life scares both my mother and I equally.

It’s completely silent for a long beat. Mark looks around, then sits on her couch.

MARK: (shouting to her) I have an erection now because I assume you began masturbating once we stopped talking.

More silence.

MARK: (shouting to her) I’m embarrassed because I think the restaurant I’ve made reservations at might not be expensive enough or hip enough to impress you, but it was the best I could do because I don’t make very much money. You see, I’m forty years old and have no real financial assets to speak of, I’ve never owned a home, and never had a significant relationship. My boss even told me today that I’m most likely going to get fired tomorrow and...

Jennifer enters the room and Mark stops talking.

JENNIFER: I just masturbated.

MARK: That makes me very horny.

JENNIFER: Shall we go?

MARK:Sure.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Not a lot to tell you about this movie. After this scene, it was deathly boring. It's a good thing we snuck into this movie, because if I paid for it I would be perturbed.

Whip It

7.5/10

I just wanted another fun movie, so I checked this out with my friend Karen.

It was exactly that. A cute movie. Kristin Wigg was also in this movie (Extract) but she was completely different. Usually she plays the same character with the dry-executed wit, but she was very normal in this movie. I was happy to see that she has diversity with her talent. It's always a bit of a shocker when you see a comedian in a dramatic role.

It was nice to see Juliette Lewis too - haven't seen her around in a while. She still looks the same - hasn't really aged. Tidbit: I saw her on a talk show where she said that this role was probably one of the most difficult ones she has taken. Usually she can draw from some part of her character for her roles, but she claims that because she doesn't have a mean bone in her body it was difficult playing the bully. I found that interesting, especially after seeing her in "Natural Born Killers".

Enjoyable. You'll enjoy it too, as long as you go into it expecting exactly what it is.

Extract

7.5/10

You all know how I feel about Jason Bateman....he is the perfect boy next door. Average height. Average weight. Perfect freckles. Little space between his two front teeth. He's adorable yet sexy.

Anyhoooodle, this movie was cute. All of the characters were great. Mila Kunis played the perfect manipulator, Kristin Wigg was great as the wife, and David Koechner was sooooo good that you really wanted to punch the crap out of him. This guy is in EVERY movie out there, and yet no one knows his name. Either did I, until now.

Another actor that is popping up everywhere:

Clifton Collins

I really noticed him for the first time in "Sunshine Cleaning". Since then, I see him here and there in movies.

The movie was fun. I watched this alone at Morningside Cinemas on a Sunday night, when it was quiet and enjoyable. I then went to Walmart to do my grocery shopping.....where it was quiet and enjoyable too. Sunday nights are great - because everyone stays home since they need to "prepare" for the week ahead, whatever that means.

A perfect, easy-going, funny film.

Inglourious Basterds

5/10

Not really my type of movie, and truthfully I wouldn't have seen it if it was my choice. Sometimes you take one for the team. I try to be open-minded though :)

I'm a big baby when it comes to gory scenes and the scenes with the scalps being sawed off with knives left me horrified. I eventually would just shut my eyes when I suspected that a gory scene was approaching.

Sometimes this movie was serious, and sometimes it was silly. And then, the odd time, you thought it was going to be silly, but it was actually serious. For example, Mike Myers played a British Officer...which ended up being a semi-serious role. The whole time I was waiting for him to bust out in the "Fat Bastard" Scottish accent. Oops. I mean the Fat BastErds accent.

Only okay.

Not fabulous.

Only okay.